Do you still have your period?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
