so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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