just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize