Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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