dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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