so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
