Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
