OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
