you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
false alarm. still invincible.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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