I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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