Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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