i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i dont even know how to be here
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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