if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
