But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
