Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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