The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
In other news, I just burned my penis
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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