Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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