I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize