You work out of a Hotel?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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