also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
