dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
