Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
