is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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