so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
