My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
