found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
