Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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