How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Everclear isn't food dammit
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
