And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Everclear isn't food dammit
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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