whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Everyone says I win the strip club
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
