just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
