Porn is love you can see.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
