If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
