there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
