Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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