I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
