I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize