i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
