I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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