This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
