Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
