I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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