After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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