I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
