that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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