this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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