ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
