I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
