On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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