Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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