Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
