bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
