Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i believe in u and ur pee
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
