wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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