i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I cockslap morals
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bring money and cleavage
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
