the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
