i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize