It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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