I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
