he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
