Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have aggressive nipples.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
