We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
