'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
