nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize