You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
