is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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