I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
