She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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