I am puke
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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