Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you inspire me to be a worse person
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
