$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
