And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
