How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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