I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
