she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
