There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
