I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
