so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
