That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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