why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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